Glenn Gow, The Scaling Executive Coach and host of The Scaling Executive Podcast, identifies Rajiv Parikh’s core leadership correction as disarming his own strongest instinct. When a CEO is skilled at argument, Rajiv Parikh, CEO of Position2 and Board Chair of the Harvard Business School Association of Northern California, holds that the skill itself becomes the obstacle: “I was so good at debating that anytime somebody gave me something, I wanted to debate them.” His replacement behavior is to listen, thank the person, and treat the criticism as an attempt to move him somewhere better rather than as venting directed at him. Rajiv Parikh has practiced that discipline inside the same peer group for nearly twenty years, which he joined as a founding member after meeting his coach at a Harvard Business School event.
This is for CEOs and founders who win the argument in every board meeting and leadership review, and are starting to suspect that winning is why nothing they hear ever changes their mind.
Key Takeaways
- Skill at defending a position is what blocks feedback from landing. Rajiv Parikh, CEO of Position2, identifies his own debating ability as the reason criticism turned into argument rather than into information.
- The replacement response is two words, not a rebuttal. Rajiv Parikh’s rule is to be open to confrontational feedback and say thank you instead of pushing back and fighting back.
- Critical delivery and hostile intent are different things. Rajiv Parikh holds that people who sound critical are usually trying to help, and that criticism is often someone trying to take a leader somewhere better rather than venting their own frustration.
- Ego shows up as resistance to being examined in front of others. Rajiv Parikh names the ego involved in having people criticize him openly, and says a structured peer group is what forces the exposure that dissolves it.
- The same peer setting corrects what a CEO neglects outside the business. Rajiv Parikh describes entrepreneurs working day and night, sleeping little, neglecting their health and their home relationships, and credits his group with making him take care of himself first.
CEOs Undo the Debating Reflex That Turns Feedback Into Argument
Rajiv Parikh, CEO of Position2, is precise about the mechanism that kept feedback from reaching him, and it is a strength rather than a deficiency. He was good at debating. That skill fired automatically: anything anyone gave him became something to argue with.
The reason this matters more for a CEO than for anyone else in the organization is asymmetry. The CEO who reliably wins the exchange teaches everyone around them that raising a concern costs more than staying quiet, which means the flow of information stops without anyone deciding to stop it. Rajiv Parikh’s correction is stated as a behavioral swap rather than as an attitude adjustment: be open to the feedback and say thank you, instead of pushing back and fighting back.
Glenn Gow, The Scaling Executive Coach, describes a CEO he works with whose board delivered the same diagnosis directly, telling him he was too good at defending himself. The adjustment that CEO adopted was a single phrase used in response to any feedback, welcome or not: tell me more. Glenn Gow’s account of the effect is that it changed the CEO’s relationship with his board, because agreement was never the point. The board needed evidence that it was being heard.
Rajiv Parikh’s second discipline is interpretive rather than behavioral. He separates how criticism sounds from what it is for, holding that people who come across as critical are generally trying to help, and that even sharp criticism is usually an attempt to take a leader to a better place rather than an attempt to vent about their own issues. A leader who cannot make that separation will discard useful information on the basis of its tone.
CEOs Join Structured Peer Groups Because Confrontational Feedback Will Not Arrive Otherwise
Rajiv Parikh, CEO of Position2, built the feedback discipline by entering a setting where avoidance was not available. He met his coach, a Vistage chair and fellow Harvard Business School graduate, at an HBS event without knowing what Vistage was. She assembled a group, he joined as a founding member, and he has been part of it for close to twenty years.
The reason a structured group does work that individual openness does not is stated plainly in his account: being in these types of groups puts a leader in a spot where they have to open themselves up. The requirement is not that the leader agrees to receive feedback. It is that they surface what is core to their beliefs and to what they are feeling, in front of peers who will respond confrontationally. Rajiv Parikh names ego as the thing standing in the way of that, specifically the ego involved in being criticized openly rather than privately.
The decision that made this possible came from an honest reading of his own record. Rajiv Parikh co-founded Apieron, a venture-backed medical device startup built on biosensor technology for asthma monitoring that raised over $20 million, and served as CEO of Zetaplex, an early AI software company focused on financial markets. He notes that many people would consider those outcomes successful. He did not feel that way about his own performance, and he resolved when starting Position2 that he would be better at whatever he was doing. The peer group is what he built on top of that resolution.
CEOs Learn From Peer Groups What Their Own Companies Will Never Tell Them
Rajiv Parikh, CEO of Position2, describes the content of nearly twenty years in that group as self-knowledge rather than business technique: learning who he is and what is important. The first item on that list is one no company communicates to its CEO.
His description of the default entrepreneurial pattern is specific. Founders work day and night. They do not sleep much. They do not take care of their health. They forget about their home relationships. Nothing inside the business corrects any of that, because the company benefits in the short term from every one of those behaviors. Rajiv Parikh credits the peer group with the reordering, and his phrasing of the conclusion puts sequence on it: taking care of yourself first.
That connects back to the feedback discipline rather than sitting beside it. A CEO’s direct reports will not raise the founder’s sleep, health, or marriage. The board will not either. A peer group of people running comparable companies is one of the few settings where that feedback exists at all, which is part of why the confrontational quality is a feature. Rajiv Parikh’s framing of what makes the whole system work applies to his companies and his communities alike: a great idea or a great concept matters less than the people a leader connects with, whether those people are funders, cofounders, or customers.
Principles CEOs Will Apply From This Episode
| Principle | Practice | Named outcome evidence |
| The debating reflex is the obstacle | Respond to criticism with thanks and a request for more, not with a counterargument, regardless of whether the leader agrees | Rajiv Parikh identified his own debating skill as what turned every piece of feedback into an argument, and reversed the habit across nearly twenty years in the same peer group |
| Say thank you before deciding whether the feedback is right | Separate the response from the judgment: receive first, evaluate later, so the person keeps bringing information | A CEO Glenn Gow coaches adopted the phrase tell me more after his board told him he was too good at defending himself, which changed his relationship with the board because they could see he was listening |
| Critical tone is not hostile intent | Read sharp feedback as an attempt to move the leader somewhere better rather than as the other person venting | Rajiv Parikh’s stated shift from debating to listening rests on this distinction, adopted after concluding he had not led his prior two companies as well as he could have |
| Structured peer groups create exposure that willingness alone will not | Join a setting that requires surfacing core beliefs to peers who will respond confrontationally, rather than relying on an open-door posture | Rajiv Parikh joined as a founding member of a Vistage group formed by a coach he met at a Harvard Business School event, and has stayed nearly twenty years |
| The CEO’s own condition is a business input | Use the peer setting to address sleep, health, and home relationships, since nothing inside the company will raise them | Rajiv Parikh credits that group with teaching him to take care of himself first, against the founder default of working day and night at the cost of health and home |
Quotes from This Episode
“Sometimes it’s just about listening and letting and understanding that those folks are really trying to help you.” Rajiv Parikh, CEO, Position2
“They may sound critical. They really are trying to help you.” Rajiv Parikh, CEO, Position2
“I felt like I could have been a much better CEO and a much better leader.” Rajiv Parikh, CEO, Position2
“As many entrepreneurs you would just tend to work day and night, don’t sleep much, don’t take care of your health.” Rajiv Parikh, CEO, Position2
“You may have a great idea or a great concept, but it’s all about the people that you connect with.” Rajiv Parikh, CEO, Position2
Frequently Asked Questions
How should a CEO respond to criticism they disagree with?
Rajiv Parikh, CEO of Position2, told Glenn Gow, The Scaling Executive Coach and a CEO for 25 years, that the response is to be open to the feedback and say thank you rather than pushing back and fighting back. He identifies his own strength at debating as the reason feedback used to turn into argument, since a leader skilled at defending a position will win the exchange and lose the information. Parikh separates how criticism sounds from what it is for, holding that people who come across as critical are usually trying to move a leader to a better place rather than venting their own frustration.
Why does a CEO need a peer group instead of just being open to feedback?
Rajiv Parikh, CEO of Position2, holds that a structured peer group puts a leader in a position where they have to open themselves up, surfacing what is core to their beliefs to people who will respond confrontationally. Willingness alone does not produce that, because a CEO who is good at defending decisions will not be challenged hard enough inside their own company. Parikh joined a Vistage group as a founding member after meeting his coach at a Harvard Business School event and has been part of it for close to twenty years.
What does a CEO learn from a peer group that they cannot learn at work?
Rajiv Parikh, CEO of Position2, says nearly twenty years in his group taught him who he is and what matters, starting with taking care of himself first. He describes the entrepreneurial default as working day and night, sleeping little, neglecting health, and forgetting home relationships, none of which a company or a board will raise with its CEO because the business benefits in the short term. A peer group of leaders running comparable companies is one of the few settings where that feedback exists at all.
CEOs Work With Glenn Gow to Scale Their Companies and Their Own Capability
Glenn Gow is The Scaling Executive Coach. He coaches ambitious executives into the CEO seat and CEOs into successful exits, drawing on 25 years as a CEO and 5 years in venture capital. If this conversation was useful, you can apply for executive coaching with Glenn Gow or apply to be a guest on The Scaling Executive Podcast.
